Let me start by saying that I am NOT pregnant, though anyone who knows me knows that I would love to be pregnant right now! I keep saying I am baby hungry and one of my friends keeps teasing me that I am not supposed to eat babies. I have had many dreams about being pregnant before I ever had a baby, but I think this is the first pregnant dream I have had since having Lily. And be warned, it's a weird one! And there is poop.
I had a dream last night that I gave birth at the Katy Birth Center. I don't remember much about the first stage of labor, except that it was straightforward. I remember that I was getting ready to start pushing and I remember that Natalie and Nanci were the midwives in the room at the time. I started to push and I pooped. It was really loose stool and smelled really bad. They whisked it away but I was feeling self conscious because of the amount and the smell and I could tell it was more stinky than anything they had to deal with before. But I kept going. I just kept pooping and pooping and pooping but it wouldn't move the baby. Natalie started to gag and had to move. Nancy was making faces because the smell was bothering her too. I was so embarrassed that my contractions stopped. I decided I would go try pushing on the toilet for awhile. For some reason while I was in there all these people showed up and were talking about me. At one point Natalie came back to me to help me push and she said, "This is my first time." I didn't have any contractions so I decided to eat some French fries. After that I went back into the birth center but in a sort of sitting room area with couches and end tables and pretty plants. Amanda Moore was sitting on one of the couches with another doula who she was mentoring and she said, "Come here, Kristi. Let me check the position of the baby." She was going to do the "ice cube trick" which totally made sense in my dream. (I don't know of any ice cube tricks, but the way it worked in the dream was you take the ice cube and trace a line from the top of the fundus to the pubic bone with the ice cube. Apparently the path the melted ice takes tells you the position of the baby.) I started to cry when I saw her and just fell into her lap. I felt so relieved. I hadn't hired a doula for this birth because of money, just like my first birth, so it was a miracle she was there. And then Theodorah walked into the room. She was going to help me! I kept eating my French fries and doing a hula dance with my hips and squatting, which made my contractions start again. Theodorah suggested I start trying to push again since it had been awhile. I was getting in a terrible pushing position, flat on my back with my legs propped up one of the couches, but in my dream it's what I wanted. I started to pull my light pink fuzzy night gown up over my stomach when I noticed about twenty people came to watch me give birth. I did not want this so I said, "All the non-essential people need to leave." Most people started to leave on their own. A few didn't. Amanda's student doula friend started to leave but I said, "No, you stay. I need you." For some reason I had bonded with her even though we hadn't met or spoken before. She seemed surprised, humbled and honored that I asked her to stay. Amanda stayed, Theordorah stayed and Natalie stayed. That was the first I noticed that Robbie wasn't there. I knew that he had to work. Theodorah asked me to start pushing and I knew she wouldn't care about the poop. I gave it everything I had and they had to coach me to slow it down a bit as the head emerged. My baby came out in two pushes. When he came out, Theodorah placed him on my chest and I said, "I don't know how he does that!" What I meant was that I had no idea how my husband knew that our baby was a boy as we didn't find out beforehand. He guessed Lily was a girl long before we even tried for a baby, and he knows our second baby will be a boy and our third baby will be a girl. I marveled at how cute our little boy was and how much hair he had on him when Robbie kissed my forehead and told me what a great job I had done. Then I noticed that our little boy had grown man hair on his legs and lots of it. And I just looked at his cute little face and loved him. Then I woke up.
How about you? Have you had any pregnant dreams while not pregnant? What kinds of crazy dreams have you had while pregnant?