Monday, August 31, 2015

The One Thing You Should Pack in Your Hospital Bag That No One Will Tell You

Image created using Canva
I've had enough! I've had enough of reading the Facebook posts that say something like, 

"I am at the hospital. My water is broken, and my labor has stalled. It has been (too many for their comfort) hours with no effective contractions, and they're pushing pitocin. What can I do to get contractions to pick up?" 

The woman has usually been on continuous monitoring, hasn't had much rest or privacy, has been confined to the bed, and is being treated like a watched pot. I always just want to say, "Go hide in the bathroom (alone or with your partner, whichever is better), and use your vibrator."

Only she probably didn't pack one. No one ever packs one. Why don't people pack one? Everyone should pack one!

Recently, I read in the book Orgasmic Birth, that if you want to be assured of some privacy, pull out your vibrator and set it out alongside your other comfort measures tools. Can you imagine that scene? I've never witnessed it, but I'd love to see what would happen if a client said, "I need to go masturbate now." 


I've been to a few births where my intuition was telling me that the couple needed some oxytocin producing alone time together, and I made myself scarce for awhile so they could accomplish that. Only I would return to their room to find out that they never got privacy. They were bugged the entire time. I wish I was bold enough to say, "Hey! Go in the bathroom. Get in the shower with the lights low and masturbate." So here it is. "I think y'all would benefit from some alone time" is actually code for, "Go in the bathroom and masturbate." 

I probably won't be able to be super blunt about my feelings about packing a vibrator because that is not my personality. I don't know everyone's history or feelings about sexuality. I wish everyone knew how sexuality and birth are related, but not everyone does. People have different levels of comfort around the topic of sex. Not everyone will pack a vibrator, much less consider using one. I don't want anyone to feel pressured to try it by being too forward about it.

And most people won't need it. Honestly, you know all those comfort measures taught in birth classes? Most people don't need most of those either. It's just that I would really love it to be packed for those "just in case" moments. You know the saying. It's better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. 

Pack your vibrators, people!