Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Perfectly Imperfect Birth Blog

You may have noticed that I have been MIA from this blog since March. I didn't mean to. There have been several reasons I have not had a chance to sit down and blog. Andy is at a very clingy age and pretty much leeches himself to me constantly. You know the pictures of the kid who grabs onto Mama's legs and holds on as she walks? That's him. I've never had a kid do that before. He seems to have a severe aversion to the floor. It must burn his feet. He hates being put down. I do love snuggles, but it is not conducive to blogging. Or using the bathroom for that matter.

I also have been trying to think of the perfect article to write. I've been waiting for the perfect topic. The perfect way to say it. The perfect SEO-friendly way to phrase everything. Perfect this. Perfect that. Not good enough. I can't write that. Oh! That's a good idea! I should write about that! But I am driving. Will I get a chance to write about this? Nope. What was that thing that I wanted to write about while I was driving last week? I can't remember. Will I ever think of another idea? Oh! There's an idea! But I am rocking Andy to sleep right now. What can I title this? It has to have a really sexy title. I can't think of a good title. Will I be able to put him down without him waking up?  Oh. He woke up. How am I not a better laying baby down ninja than this?

The ideas come. The ideas go. So few actually make it to the blog. Even fewer make it to being published. I keep waiting for the perfect ideas and the perfect way to say things. I've read two amazing books by Brene Brown, Daring Greatly and The Gifts of Imperfection. I love her writings. Those books were inspiring, but I am neither Daring Greatly nor doing imperfection quite the right way. I can't even be perfect at being imperfect! I still worry about being imperfect. I still try to do things the "right" way. Or whatever my perception of "right" is. I'm not even sure I know what "right" is. I just want to be better. To do better.

After rocking Andy to sleep today, and then having him wake up, again, I decided enough is enough! I'm blogging something. Anything. Even if it sucks. I need to blog. Even if all it does is make me happy. That's good enough.