I have never been interested in celebrity news, and I don't really intend to start even after I write this blog post. I know you will never see this, but I feel prompted to write it anyway.
I wasn't paying very much attention to your pregnancy until a few of my friends made comments about how much weight you've gained. I'm not sure that they understood that you're pregnant. You're gorgeous! You look beautiful with your long hair and blooming belly. I hope you feel beautiful.
I didn't pay attention again until a few days ago when several of my friends posted articles that said that you were opting for a Cesarean section because you were afraid of the pain of giving birth. Not only did they post articles, but their comments were generally unfavorable. This made me sad.
It made me sad for several reasons. First, just their general negativity made me sad. Second, it made me just want to look you in they eye and ask, "Don't you know what you are capable of? Don't you know that you are strong and that you can do this?"
I've read only one short article about what is supposed to capture all the fears that you have tried to overcome and the efforts and emotions you have put into preparing for the birth of your baby.Yes, fear is something that you need to try to work on, but I'll tell you something. I was still afraid of something when I went into labor. I'm not sure what I was afraid of, but when my first contractions hit, I was scared I wouldn't be able to make it 12-14 hours with contractions like that. But something happened during labor. Something happens to many women all over the world during labor. There's a place we go where we somehow find the strength and courage to make it through. But it's even deeper than that. It's a place beyond thought. It's a place where you just surrender to the process and no longer need to think about what to do. Your body just does it for you. And if feels so good to have your husband, partner, or chosen loved one to be there with you to hold you, to massage you, to just love you. (By the way my birth didn't end up being 12-14 hours. It was much quicker than that.)
You are just as capable as I am, and just as capable as all healthy women are. I wish you would give yourself more credit. I wish that fear of pain wasn't your reason for choosing a Cesarean because that is something that you can work through. Even still.
No matter what you decide for your birth (you still have time to change your mind again), I hope you hire a doula. Having a doula there with you can make a world of difference. A doula can help Eric support you even better if you want him to be the main support. She may be able to say just the right things to help you have the confidence you need to birth your baby the way you originally wanted. It's not too late until your baby is in your arms, and even then, she can help you start your breastfeeding journey if needed.
And no matter what kind of birth you choose, I hope this experience transforms you for the better. I hope you find out just how strong you are! I hope this is a joyful experience for you, and I hope you sing this baby into the world as the two of you work together to welcome your little bundle Earth side.