At least, not just yet.
At a Belly Mapping class where I met other doulas |
If you want to know something really funny about how long it
takes me to grow into a label, ask my husband how old I was before I started
referring to myself as "a woman."
I digress. But I hope my point has been made. Being a doula
is important to me. I worked hard to become a doula. I continue to work hard to
be a good doula, always trying to
improve my skill-set to better serve my clients. Calling myself a doula represents
the work I have done, and it also represents the trust that families put in me
to supply something to their birth experience. DOULA means something to people.
DOULA means TRUST. For many families, their doula is the only non-family member
in their birthing space that they trust. Sometimes their doula is the ONLY
person in their birthing space that they trust. Many people hire doulas because
they need one person at their birth they can trust that they know is going to be there just for them. That is one person who will have no other
priorities, responsibilities, or agendas.
When I receive an email from someone asking if they can
shadow me, I will email them back to suggest that we meet first. Sometimes I
tell people that I don’t feel like I’ve been a doula long enough to feel ready
to be someone’s mentor. Most of the time I don’t feel comfortable asking my
clients to allow someone else in their sacred space. In order for me to be
comfortable doing that, it has to be for someone that I know. It has to be for someone
that has made an effort to build a relationship with me. I need to have seen
this person in real life several times. I need to have had conversations with
this person. I need to have seen this person at birth-related events in the
community so that I know that they are a REAL person and not someone sitting
behind a screen trying to lure me out into an unsafe situation. I need to know
that this person is reliable and serious about becoming a doula and not just
trying to shadow me at a birth to “try it on for size” or “see if it’s
something that they really want to do.”
If you aren’t sure whether or not you want to be a doula, if
you don’t feel called to support women during their birthing times, you should try
reading birth related books or attending a doula training in order to see if
being a doula is something you want to pursue. Maybe a friend will allow you to
attend her birth. But please don’t refer to yourself as a doula if you are not
yet a doula. There have been enough untrained “doulas” out there that have made
care providers needlessly wary of doulas because they think ALL doulas are “that
way.”
One day I will be happy to mentor a new doula or two, but it
won’t be until after I get to know you.
Thank you Kristi!
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